


Indulgence

by needleyecandy



Category: Thor (Movies)
Genre: Cats, Double Penetration, Fluff, M/M, Thor's revenge
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-30
Updated: 2015-12-30
Packaged: 2018-05-10 08:18:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5578214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needleyecandy/pseuds/needleyecandy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For Christmas, I wanted a fic where when people make fun of Thor for not knowing how to use Midgardian technology so he whips out a replica of something utterly archaic and is like, “Ok, let's see how <em>you</em> do,” and then he goes home and gets DP’ed by Loki and Mjolnir and after they’re done having awesome sex they hang out with a bunch of kittens. So that's what I wrote. Just, you know, a little late.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Indulgence

**Author's Note:**

> I really intended to have this done in time to post for Christmas, but there was just too much holiday cheer. And by 'cheer,' I mean, of course, champagne. But now here it is! 
> 
> Also, I don't actually watch the View, I just keep seeing the hosts in the news for being dicks in a whole variety of ways. I really wanted to have Tony be the one picking on Thor because we could have gotten a much higher quality of snark out of him, but I really couldn't see him having trouble figuring out the challenge Thor brings at the end of the first section.
> 
> Enjoy.

"Please pardon the interruption," Jarvis said. "There is a telephone call for Thor."

Thor frowned. "Are you sure? All my Midgardian friends are here."

"They asked for 'the alien hottie.' I suppose they could mean Ms. Romanov, but-"

"Not if they know what's good for them, they don't," she said, glaring at the nearest speaker.

"Quite my thoughts as well, hence my assumption."

"Can you play it for me here?" Thor asked.

"Thor is on the line, go ahead," Jarvis said.

"Hello, Thor? My name is Laura. I'm a producer on the popular television show 'The View.' I'm calling to invite you on for a whole week's guest hosting spot! This is a very rare and special opportunity, and a real testament to our audience's appreciation of your biceps."

Tony was shaking his head no. _Don't do it_ , he mouthed.

"I thank you for the invitation, but... why would I wish to do this?" Thor asked.

"I'm prepared to make a donation of half a million dollars to a charity of your choosing," she said.

"More," Tony interrupted.

"Way more," agreed Natasha.

"A million?"

"Two or no deal," Natasha said.

Laura sighed. "All right, but that's the most I can do."

  


And that was how Thor found himself sitting at a table in front of a room full of screaming fans. The first day, the hosts didn't do much more than ask him to flex, until near the end of the episode.

"Now we have a special segment this week, where we're going to give you a piece of modern technology and see how well you do with it," Whoopi said.

Thor sighed. "Very well," he told her.

"Whoa, did you all hear that sigh?" asked Joy. "Looks like this is going to be fun!"

The first day was a cell phone. Thor had studied such things with his tutors, but only diagrams in books. Even Asgard could not make ancient things last forever, not unless they were carved of stone or forged of uru. Things like this flimsy little toy had no chance. Had they opened it up and asked him to fix it, he could easily have done that; he had an instinct for electricity in all its forms. It was a thing he doubted any of them could do, yet they now proceeded to joke among themselves at his inability to make a call.  _Charity, charity_ , he reminded himself. The Institute for the Rehabilitation of Deranged Criminals really needed that money.

The next day was a microwave oven. He had at least seen the hulls of such things in a museum, relics of the time when his people still cooked with radiation, but cooking was not done by princes, not unless it was over the campfire on a hunt. There was one microwave in the tower, but Jarvis controlled it entirely; Thor had never seen anyone do more than put food in and wait to be told it was done.  _Charity_ , he told himself again. 

Wednesday was a laptop computer. He opened the top, and his finger was drawn by instinct to the power button, but that was as far as he got. He knew it was like a very simple Jarvis, and Jarvis he could understand and work. At home he merely had to make the appropriate gestures and they would be read; Jarvis had to be spoken to, but that was not so different. This thing, though... it was simply too primitive. He told them as much, but they just smirked. _Deranged criminals need love too, Thor,_ he repeated over and over in his mind.

On Thursday, Candace told him that they found something special, just for him. "We tracked down a VCR and wanted to see if you can program it, since it's old too!" she said.

He looked at the remote she placed in his hand. "I have no idea what to do with this," he said. Same as the other things he had been given. He could feel the latent energy in the batteries, but there was no waiting current to attract his touch. And these things were even more outdated than microwaves.

"Aww. Well, don't worry, we got you a user manual!" She proudly handed him a paper booklet.

"The Allspeak allows me to understand all languages, but it cannot move the ink on a page."

"You can't even read! Oh my goodness!" she said, raising her eyebrows unnaturally high.

"I can read two hundred and ninety-seven-" he began hotly.

"He can't read English!"

Thor had learned patience, but it was not infinite, and they had just reached the end. That night, he asked Jarvis to make something for him.

On Friday, after they watched him struggle to use an iPad, he interrupted their laughter. "In the spirit of this game, I had a gift made for you all," he told them.

"Does it involve you taking your shirt off?" Joy asked.

"No, it most certainly does _not_ ," he said. While the audience gave a collective sigh of disappointment, he gestured to the assistant standing in the wings. She approached, carrying a large box. He sat back watching happily as the hosts clustered around to open it. Inside was a jumble of gears and plates.

"What is it?" asked Whoopi.

"A model of the Antikythera Mechanism. It is used to predict astronomical movements. It is one of the shining achievements of Midgardian technology. Please, let us see you use it to make some calculations."

They stared at it. Up to him. Back to it.

"A little difficult? Have no worries, for I brought you a guide on its usage. Of course, it's written entirely in Vanir runes. I'm sure you won't mind, though."

He left the stage, waving happily at the fans who were suddenly standing on their seats, cheering him loudly.

Despite being cheered by the audience (who seemed to have a vast deal more intelligence and understanding than did the hosts), he was not in a good mood. "My friends, I find myself desirous of a return to Asgard,” he announced at dinner that evening.

“You’re pissed off and you want to get laid to cheer yourself up,” Tony said.

"I would not have phrased it thus," Thor said.

"But that's it. I'm right."

"Yes."

Thor had no doubt that Heimdall had watched the whole thing, nor did he doubt that Loki knew - either through Heimdall, or some other means - and was already preparing for his return.

*****

The audience was nearly as stupid as the hosts. Loki had hidden himself among them all week, a different glamor each day. He alone had hissed when they had teased his brother under a guise of playfulness. Even not knowing the truth of things, that Thor's difficulties were due to his being advanced, rather than the opposite, he would have hoped that the fools would show some politeness out of gratitude for how Thor kept defending their realm. But that was Midgardians for you: offer them a kindness and they'll take the piss instead.

He was delighted to see the box opened and the brass machine put on display. Once, when they were children, Odin had taken them to Greece to see the dawn of European technology. The machine they saw then was simpler than this, but not by much. His brother's decision to present them with it was clever. He deserved better than the brainless reception he was receiving, so Loki made sure he got it.

Then he hurried home to ready things for another.

By the time Thor arrived, Loki had transformed his chambers into a hall of mirrors, high torches shielded behind opalescent glass to soften their glare into glow. The bed was piled high with pillows and a bottle of sweet almond oil stood beside it. He just had time to strip and arrange himself artfully among the cushions before the doors burst open.

"Loki," Thor breathed as his eyes fell on his brother.

Loki's lips quirked upwards. "Thor. Did you miss me?"

"Always. But you are such a pleasure to return to."

"Then come here." Loki held out one slender hand and Thor stripped quickly before approaching to take it.

Loki tugged Thor down to join him. "This is sybaritic, even for you," Thor teased.

"I simply felt like giving you everything," Loki said. His tone was offhand but his eyes were not and Thor read them perfectly.

"I like _everything_ ," Thor said.

"Mmm, I know."

Supple hands and greedy lips alone could have devoured hours, had they the time. When they were younger, when their time was their own, they had devoted whole days to such things. Now they knew to cherish every shining moment.

Thor let Loki ease him down to his back. Everything around them, pillows, blankets, the curtains of their bed, he had made into a blend of their colors. The spread on which Thor stretched out was his own red, the very shade of it luxurious. His head rested on a pillow of Loki's green. Thor's hair, spread out across it, put real gold trim to shame.

"There is everything but my silver," Thor teased, his face alight with a smile that broke with a shuddering gasp when Loki gave him his quicksilver tongue.

Thor liked the mirrors. Loki had done this before, but infrequently enough that it remained a novelty. An exciting novelty, he corrected himself, as around them a thousand copies of his brother hovered over a thousand reflections of himself, each pair at a slightly different angle. A glance around the room let him see every part of Loki at once. There, a long, lean arm, slender next to Thor's but far stronger than it looked. There, the sole of a foot that was far more ticklish than Loki cared to admit. And there, the lush swell of his behind, raised up high as he rested on his elbows to lick broad swaths down Thor's cock, suckling at the head until Thor could feel himself beginning to leak. Only then did he raise his head.

"Look at you, Thor. Already coming apart when I've barely even begun."

"For a god, brother, you have devilish lips."

"You like them?"

"Mmmm. Come kiss me with them."

Loki crawled back up Thor's body, long muscles rippling like a predatory cat in every mirror, a thousand dizzying incarnations enough to leave Thor drunk before their lips even touched. He tasted himself in Loki's kiss, salt and musk blending with his brother's own slight sweetness as their tongues met and twisted.

Thor let his hands roam down Loki's body, fingers slotting in between the ribs that he could still feel but no longer see, just how he liked them, tracing the valleys between each muscle of his belly before sweeping back and around, fitting around the trim waist and pulling him down to lie atop Thor's body.

His brother was so solid beneath him, a bronze statue come to life with breath and blood and love coursing through it. Their cocks pressed together between their bellies as they kissed. Loki curled and uncurled his hips slowly in a playful mockery of the fucking Thor was beginning to pant for. "You want this?" he asked.

"Always, you know I do."

"But how much? What is it worth?"

Thor groaned. "I'll do anything. I need it."

After the week he had just had, Loki believed him. It was so delicious to tease, though. "Then the price is your words. Tell me how you passed your nights without me." Loki shifted to his side and reached for the oil, wetting his fingers.

"I spent them longing for you, of course."

"Mmm, I like that answer," Loki purred. He slid in a slick finger. Thor gasped and arched up, wanting it deeper. Loki thrust it in and out almost lazily. When the initial tightness began to relent, he spoke again. "Is that all?"

"I spent them with my hands and thoughts of you."

"Good," Loki praised. He added another finger, not really stretching, not yet. Just caressing the tense muscle into relaxing. Only after it had ceased its twitching and fluttering did he prompt Thor to speak again. "Tell me what you did with your hands."

"I stroked my cock, pretend- _ah!_ " He broke off as Loki curled his fingers, at last gliding them against his spot. He panted for breath, unable to speak, until Loki backed off and began to twist and scissor Thor open. "I pretended it was you touching me," he finished.

It earned him another finger and more words of praise. Loki kept sliding and twisting and curling until the resistance was gone. This was usually as far as he prepared Thor before fucking him.

But it would not be Loki alone fucking him tonight.

"Is that all you did?" Loki asked.

Thor's cock was leaking a steady stream of clear thick fluid now, and his answer was interspersed with moans. "I used my fingers inside myself. I tried to make it feel like you do."

"And how was it? Was it good?"

Another finger, another moan. Thor nodded frantically. "It was but not as good as you."

"Was that all? Nothing else has been inside here since last I was?"

Thor nodded again. "I wanted to, but I waited."

"What did you want? Tell me, Thor," he ordered. He stroked the pads of his fingers over and over across the firm nub inside, feeling an almost vicious bolt of pleasure at his brother's reaction.

"I wanted to fuck myself with Mjolnir," Thor said when he finally managed to speak.

"But you waited for me. I will make it worth your while," Loki promised. He lowered his head, kissed Thor through the near-pained gasp as he pushed further in, the widest part of his hand slipping inside so that little more than his thumb and the heel were still outside. He was too far in now to pleasure Thor's spot, but he had Thor writhing and begging all the same. When he was satisfied, he gently withdrew, drinking in his cries of loss. "Turn over," he said.

Thor rolled quickly to his stomach, reaching down as he moved to adjust his cock as he settled his weight atop it.

Loki pulled his cheeks apart to find his hole slack and slippery, the rim swollen.

"Look at how loose and empty you are, Thor," Loki said innocently. He slipped in a single finger and drew a wide circle with it, showing how freely it moved. "That can't be much fun at all."

"It isn't," Thor told him through gritted teeth.

"Shall I fill you up?" Thor gave an impatient nod. It was delightful; he was exquisite when he lost his temper. Loki was more than a little tempted to push him further, were it not his own desire he would be denying as well. "Call Mjolnir," Loki told him.

Thor flung a hand to one side and she cut through the air to meet him.

"Put her how you want, though I don't want the grip ridges against me," Loki said. It was something he hadn't considered the first time they tried this. He did not make that mistake twice.

Thor reached behind himself to set her down on the broad end, handle straight up and a smooth side facing Loki. Loki poured more oil over the handle, not bothering with how it dripped down to mess their bed. At his word, Thor rose to his knees and shifted his weight back.

"Hold yourself open while you do it. And go slowly. I want to enjoy watching this," Loki asked him.

Loki forgot how to breathe as Thor pulled himself open. The sight of him, lowering his massive body to be penetrated by the dull uru... it was something Loki could have watched forever. He looked around, taking in their reflections. Thor's arms bulging as the muscles tensed with anticipation. Thor's face, his eyes half-closed and mouth slack with desire. Loki's own face, sharp eyes gleaming through a veil of lust.

And then Thor was _there_ , the flat end of the handle pressing against his opening. "Slow," Loki reminded him. Thor nodded. His hands shook as he lowered himself, oh, _so_ slowly, Loki could see the delicate skin turning white with pressure as it stretched and stretched and then _took_ as the metal slid inside him.

Thor gave a shuddering groan and Loki rubbed a hand on his back. "All right?" he asked. He knew he had prepared Thor well, but he had done this himself often enough to know the intensity of sensation, the feel of something so unyielding. No matter how hard a cock became, it was soft and gentle compared to this.

"I am," Thor said. His voice was harsh, ragged. "How much-?"

"You've barely begun. A finger's width, at most."

Loki could see the concentration tensing his brother's muscles as he slid further down. His motion was slow and even until he reached the first thick grip. "You can do it," Loki said gently.

"But not slowly," Thor said with a broken laugh. He forced himself down with two sharp breaths. His ring spread and tightened, taking in the swell of metal like it was made for it.

"That was lovely. Three more to go," Loki told him.

Thor held still a moment, his head sagging, panting for air. When he felt ready, he steeled himself and took the next grip.

"Good, good," Loki praised, rubbing his back again. "Halfway there."

The next two were every bit as beautiful, and then it was easy enough for him to take the rest of the handle, sinking down until his skin pressed against the head of the hammer. Loki came up behind him until his chest was pressed to Thor's back. Thor let his head fall onto Loki's shoulder and Loki tilted down to claim his lips yet again, long languid kisses that left them both half drunk. Their tongues slid together, caressing, testing. Thor tasted like desire.

"Tell me when you're ready for more," Loki whispered.

Thor nodded. He eased back up, grunting softly as each of the thick grips passed back out of him, until he was again hovering just above the end of the handle. "I'm ready," he said.

Loki moved forwards, shifting about until his cock was pressed up against the now-heated metal. One hand clasped around them, holding them together. The other he brought up against Thor's chest, holding him close. The first time they did this, he had wrapped his fingers around Thor's cock, urging him on, but he had quickly discovered that Thor needed closeness and affection, more than stimulation, when he was asking so much of himself. "Go ahead. However you like," he said.

"A moment," Thor said. He took a long, even breath, counting it out. A second. A third and he pushed down, his measured exhale broken by a sharp gasp at the intensity trembling through his body. Even with how thoroughly Loki had prepared him, it was still so much to take it all, it was so tight, he was so _full_. It didn't matter how often they did this; each time it felt impossible, and yet each time it fit. Loki held him close as he pushed down, fucking himself on his brother and his weapon.

It was so tight, so hard and huge inside him, but then Loki whimpered his name and scrabbled his fingers against Thor's chest and Thor could dream of nothing better. He knew, from memory, how this felt for his brother; the squeeze was little too much on his cock, the metal far too unyielding against it, for pleasure. And yet it was found in abundance, there in the sight and sound and knowledge of the sensations that overwhelmed the one who received. Neither knew any pleasure more selfish than giving everything to the other, and Thor could never imagine better happiness.

Thor did not remain still long. He clasped his hand over Loki's, twining their fingers together, and raised himself until no more than the tip of cock and hammer alike remained within. He had grunted softly at each thick grip, but he had not let himself be slowed. He felt Loki's fingers brush against the backs of his thighs, returning to hold them together as he slid back down. It was easier, this second time, and it became easier still on the third.

Loki did not reach for Thor's cock until Thor had abandoned those first long, even strokes for short, fast motions, rising only halfway in order to slam himself down all the sooner. Once Thor got going like this, he would not stop until they were both spent. He curled his fingers around it, letting Thor's own slickness ease his way as he fucked up through Loki's grasp each time he rose up.

"You like that, do you?" Loki purred into Thor's ear.

"You know I do."

"The mighty Thor, fucking himself on his own weapon and his baby brother's cock, all at the same time. You're such a perfect cockslut, aren't you?"

"Just for you," Thor panted. "I've never-"

Thor broke off, but Loki knew the rest. _I've never done this with anyone else._ Of course they had both taken other lovers before they came to understand what it was between them, but it was with Loki alone that Thor allowed himself to be so vulnerable, so intensely filled. Thor trusted him now as he never had and never would trust another. The knowledge of it was like a drug and he felt himself grow close.

"So perfect. I love you," Loki whispered.

Thor's body stiffened and froze as he came with a shout. Loki kept stroking his cock as he let go of his own control, letting the climax that he had held off with increasing desperation at last explode within him. He kept his eyes open, watching their reflections, as they came together. Thor's head was thrown back onto his shoulder, sweaty strands of hair clinging to his face and his mouth hanging open as his cry melted into a long stuttering moan. The head of his cock was so red where it peeked out from Loki's grasp. Thick jets of white burst from him, spattering across the sheets like a string of pearls and Loki watched it all as he came.

His brother's nerves were always exquisitely oversensitive after he came, and as he returned to himself the roughness of his breathing took on the sound of discomfort. "You're all right, you're all right," Loki soothed, peppering kisses over his back. He kept kissing as Thor slid up, making a plaintive noise as each of the thick grips passed through him, until he was free.

Loki settled onto the bed and held out his arms for Thor to sink into them. "Come here. I'll hold you," he said.

Thor rose onto wobbly legs to put Mjolnir on the floor before curling into Loki's arms. "That was perfect," he told him.

Loki pressed a kiss into his hair. "I was," he agreed.

"Hey!" Thor spluttered. "Do I have to tickle you?"

"You don't. You were perfect, too."

They relaxed into a comfortable silence for a time, enjoying the lingering afterglow and the simple pleasure of the other's closeness.

"One of Freya's cats had kittens while you were away. They're old enough to play with now, and she's invited us to visit," Loki said.

"I'd like that. Shall we go?"

"Yes. I was just waiting for you to get back."

They dressed each other with all the tenderness and patience they had gone without in undressing, smoothing down each garment before adding the next, proudly buckling each other's armor and lacing each other's boots. Loki waved his fingers towards Mjolnir and the thick layer of oil and seed that coated the handle was gone. They went out to their balcony where Loki stepped gently onto the tops of Thor's feet, Thor summoned his hammer, and they were off.

The white marble pillars of Sessrumnir were bathed in the warm light of evening when they arrived. Freya was outside, watching as four kittens played in the grass, wrestling and chasing butterflies.

"Ah, you've come. You are very welcome; it is good for the kittens to be well socialized while they are young."

"Can we simply approach them?" Thor asked.

"Greet Kisa first," Freya said, pointing to the rather tired-looking mother cat. "Let her know that you're all right."

They approached Kisa respectfully, hands outstretched for her to smell and judge. She gave them both a careful inspection while they spoke in hushed voices, complimenting her magnificent strength and rich thick fur, until she lost interest and wandered off.

Loki turned back to Freya. "Does that mean we passed?"

She nodded. "You can play with the kittens without her attacking you now."

They went and sat together in the middle of the yard. It did not take long for the first kitten, a brawny brown tabby like his mother, to climb into Thor's lap and start batting at his hair. He hung his head forwards, shaking it around so that the locks danced in the air. He caught one and began to chew on it with loud smacks. A dainty calico, not to be outdone, climbed Loki's arm to perch on his shoulder and sniff loudly at his ear.

"It's lucky we wore our armor," Thor said, watching the kitten's needle-sharp claws sinking into the leather that covered Loki's arm.

" _Very_ lucky," Loki agreed as the brown one began to knead at the softest parts of Thor's lap. "But just look at their paws! They're so big for these tiny little bodies."

"They'll grow into them soon enough," Thor said fondly.

Loki looked at him with wonder. "She's purring against my ear," he whispered.

"She's smart," Thor said.

"And she's so soft, I can't believe how soft she is," Loki said, rubbing his cheek gently against her fat little side.

Another tabby, the same color as the one on Thor's lap but built like the one on Loki's shoulder, approached more cautiously. Thor moved slowly, reaching out to pluck a flower and dangle it just above the kitten's nose, and soon all hesitation was lost as she leapt and jumped, waving her round little paws in the air as she tried to catch it.

The fourth kitten, a tiny gray ball of fluff, had scurried to his mother when they approached. They watched as she washed his face, pinning him down with a paw between his shoulder blades when he tried to wiggle away.

"Mother used to have to pin you down like that, too," Thor said.

Loki tried to glare at him, but he found it impossible to do so with a tiny cat making whiffling sounds in his ear. "I very much doubt it," he said drily.

Thor laughed. "She did. I remember when you were teething, and you bit her."

"I did not!"

"You did."

Thor's free hand crept across the grass, unnoticed by attacking kittens, and rested upon Loki's. He leaned forwards, shaking his hair for the cat in his lap to attack, while Loki spun glittering streams of seidr from his fingers for the calico, and they sat together, playing with the kittens, as the cool of the dusk set in.


End file.
